Chapter 4: Munich

Chapter 4: Munich

The first thing to do once you land is go get your bag! Yep, that's right, BAG is back in your party, and he's whatever level he was when you last used him. Hopefully it's not too low, or the OKTOBERFESTERS will kill him in one hit.

You need to call Olivia with the phone, but you don't have any small change. You'll have to fight the,

COFFEE STAND MAEDCHEN
HP: 100
MP: 29

Watch out for her "poured scalding hot espresso attack"! Just have BAG use DEFENSE CURL over and over, because there's no way he's going to help in this battle.

Now go make your phone call to Olivia. She'll meet you in the BOBURGER restaurant at the HAUPTBAHNHOF. Now you have to get a ticket to the HAUPTBAHNHOFF. You'll have to fight the

TICKETAUTOMAT
HP: 500
MP: 300

Yeah, the ticket machine is pretty tough. Lots of HP, but fortunately no big attacks. In addition, a TICKETASSISTENTIN will join you as a NPC (non-playable character) for this battle. She will deal some damage (but mostly she's just there as an homage to the real-life girl that helped Eric buy his ticket).

after that, you'll have to fight a bunch of Spanish tourists on the platform, because they don't know how to use their tickets. Knock 'em down.

On the train, you'll fight OKTOBERFESTERS, OKTOBERFESTERGIRLS, SPANISH TOURIST, ASIAN TOURIST, ASIAN TOURIST W/ CAMERA, and TICKETCHECKER. You can talk with an Asian man and woman at the middle of the train, and they'll give you some information. You can also talk to Juergen, who will tell you where to buy Lederhosen.

Once you're at the Hauptbahnhof, you'll have to fight your way to the BOBURGER restaurant. You can buy stuff to eat her and recover HP, but it's pretty expensive. At the BOBURGER, you'll meet OLIVIA, your friend from college. She will join your party as OLVA. She will have the GREEK MYTHOLOGY book and let you read it on the train. This increases your max MP by 1.

You take the train to OLVA's apartment. You can recover all your HP and MP, because OLVA has a lot of food to eat! Sadly, BAG, will leave your party now, and will stay in the apartment. OLVA says that you guys need to go grocery shopping to get stuff for tonight's dinner. Looks like a classic, meaningless yet lovable RPG sub-plot.

On the walk to the grocery store, you'll get attacked by DEUTSCHBIKER or DEUTSCHAUTO if you go in the bike or car lanes. There are some DEUTSCHSMOKERS who can poison you with their smoke attack, so avoid that if possible. There are also MEGADEUTSCHBABYCARRIAGES which are very high tech. Look at their stats:

MEGADEUTSCHBABYCARRIAGE
HP: 140
MP: 112
SPELLS: Firebal 1, Firebal 2, Hellblast, Healspell 1

Yeah. You'll have to - of course - go to multiple grocery stores because not everything is in one store. When you get back to the apartment, OLVA will start making dinner. It's a family recipe, so she says that it has to be done a certain way and you are a guest so just go out and enjoy Munich. OLVA will leave your party, but you can use her BIKE.

This is probably the best part of the game. Your speed and attack stats are increased with the bike. You can't use your normal weapon, but who cares? The bike ramming attack is awesome. Also, the bike will take all damage in battle. It has 300 HP and can only normally be healed with DEUTSCHBIKEPOLISH, which is expensive. Fortunately, there's a glitch in the game, and if you select a healing item while in battle (like a "DEUTSCHMEAT") and use it on yourself, it will heal the bike.

You should definitely make sure you are equipped with NORTHFACESHELL, because it gets cold, and if you didn't bring it, you'll catch a cold and take damage. You have a total of 20 minutes to go wherever you want. There are lots of items in Munich that you can get. The bookstore downtown is 5 stories tall, and some of the books can be equipped as weapons or armor.

There is an optional boss by the bridge. It's near the DEUTSCHMUSEUM, and it's an old boat propeller on display.

OLDBOATPROPELLER
HP: 555
MP: 0

There is also a group of German girls doing a photo shoot for the Munich tourist ministry.

When the 20 minutes is up, you have to ride back to OLVA's apartment. You will have all HP and MP restored with the meal. Cool! Now it's time to go to Oktoberfest. Olivia wants to take pictures of at least 10 crazy things. In addition, OLVA has her DIRNDL equipped, which makes her immune to attacks from OKTOBERFESTERS. That's all great, but it just means all the attacks will land on you.

Be careful when you go into the BIERHALLs. You might wind up fighting 10 OKTOBERFESTERS at a time. But the final boss before you leave Oktoberfest is a doozy. You'll find it on the ground outside the final Bierhall.

BOSS: BAYERNBARF
HP: 330
MP: 200
SPELLS: Poison 1, Firebal 2, Sludgebomb,

+OKTOBERFESTER x2
+OKTOBERFESTERGIRL

Watch out. The BAYERNBARF can use Sludgebomb on itself to heal HP! It will do this the turn after it uses its "BAYERNBARF tore into you!" attack. Take out its cohorts first and then just pile on the attacks.

Chapter 3: Madrid

The chapter in Madrid is pretty short. Don't mess anything up. There are some bad guys, but not too many (it's Spain, after all). You have to wait in line for customs and passport checks. While in line, you will meet MARI who is from Bolivia and she will join your party. There are some bad guys in line, like this goon:

SWISS/NORWEGIAN/ICELANDIC GUY WHO DOESN'T REALIZE THAT SWISS CITIZENS SHOULD GO IN THE EU LINE
HP: 50
MP: 0

There are a surprising number of these guys. Just keep using MARI's "MAGIA OSCURA" spell and they'll go down quickly. Don't worry about burning through her MP, she leaves your party soon anyway. But first! You have to make your way through the line, which is one of those classic unnecessarily, unrealistically long RPG "pseudo dungeons." Then you fight a mini-boss, because the guard gets annoyed that your passport picture looks so old (TRUTH: this is a big exaggeration. All he did in real life was raise his eyebrows 5mm)

SPANISH BORDER GUARD
HP: 125
MP: 10

At first glance this guy doesn't look too bad, but unfortunately he has the dreaded "call for help" spell. He only has enough for one spell, but that's enough, because he always calls one of his clone friends, which will then call another SPANISH BORDER GUARD, and then another! Your only hope to stop the chain is to focus all your attacks on the Border Guards that still have full MP and then hope that they use another attack (like the oasis "do nothing" attack "SPN BRD GRD RAISED HIS EYEBROWS!").

Once you've beaten this boss, MARI will leave your party. But that's okay. Up next is just a bunch of standard RPG fare: take lots of elevators, go along a lot of paths, find your terminal, fight grumpy travelers everywhere. Once you find your terminal, there will be a group of 5 SPANIARD HOOLIGANS that you have to fight, but they're so easy that we won't even put it up here.